(no subject)
i am going to start using this i swear omg
o5 so let me in
i'm just (sososo) sad. i really don't know what i'm going to do with my life (i think i'll fail) and it's scary. i don't think i'm going to do okay. i have no confidence (nowill), wouldn't that scare you too? maybe i'm a puppet without a master (without a dream what's the point of being me?) tell me what to do (pleasepleaseplease) guide me, help me, tell me what to do!
who can i talk to? who can i talk to without feeling like a burden (you're sososo selfish)? someone who won't say those (stupidstupidstupid) words like "it'll be ok" or "aw ):" or try to touch me. i don't need people like that please just listen to me.
bonds are important, family is important, am i important?
are families supposed to be dysfunctional? are they supposed to all hate each other? are they supposed to yell at each other and curse each other and ignore each other? i suppose it's normal to some people and i am used to it, but i can't help but wonder where it went (sososo) wrong. the eldest child who can't face her mother, the middle child that curses out her father, the youngest child that ignores the existance of her sister, the mother that knows nothing about her children, the father that yells at his children, the family that resent each other.
they were fighting the other day. it's a normal occurance, but it just pains me when i realize we can't even communicate with our parents. my sister says what she can in chinese, but just says the rest in english (fuckyouyoudontknowanything) and my father still yells in chinese. apart from their limited english, they know curses because of how often they fight. the outside parties (whywhywhyamihere) try to ignore them, but it's hard when they're loud. is it okay to fight this much?
i don't know how to make friends. i can introduce myself and make a fool of myself doing so, but does that mean they will want me as a friend? sometimes (alwaysalwaysalways you liar) i regret meeting some people. they forget about me or just don't talk to me in general but that's okay, i can get over it (pretenditsokayitsokay). and other times they annoy me to no end and i hate them. do friends do that? i am not a good person (sososohorrible) but i guess it's my nature to be like this. i get bored quickly and leave things behind. maybe i shouldn't feel so bad when i'm the one tossed aside, but it's (sososo) easy to do it to other people. i...maybe i should be alone.
there's nothing i want to do. my life is empty and there's nothing to occupy myself. i have no escape (ihavenohope). i don't want to be here. i don't want to be alive. i don't want to be. (helpmefindmeaning)
who can i talk to? who can i talk to without feeling like a burden (you're sososo selfish)? someone who won't say those (stupidstupidstupid) words like "it'll be ok" or "aw ):" or try to touch me. i don't need people like that please just listen to me.
bonds are important, family is important, am i important?
are families supposed to be dysfunctional? are they supposed to all hate each other? are they supposed to yell at each other and curse each other and ignore each other? i suppose it's normal to some people and i am used to it, but i can't help but wonder where it went (sososo) wrong. the eldest child who can't face her mother, the middle child that curses out her father, the youngest child that ignores the existance of her sister, the mother that knows nothing about her children, the father that yells at his children, the family that resent each other.
they were fighting the other day. it's a normal occurance, but it just pains me when i realize we can't even communicate with our parents. my sister says what she can in chinese, but just says the rest in english (fuckyouyoudontknowanything) and my father still yells in chinese. apart from their limited english, they know curses because of how often they fight. the outside parties (whywhywhyamihere) try to ignore them, but it's hard when they're loud. is it okay to fight this much?
i don't know how to make friends. i can introduce myself and make a fool of myself doing so, but does that mean they will want me as a friend? sometimes (alwaysalwaysalways you liar) i regret meeting some people. they forget about me or just don't talk to me in general but that's okay, i can get over it (pretenditsokayitsokay). and other times they annoy me to no end and i hate them. do friends do that? i am not a good person (sososohorrible) but i guess it's my nature to be like this. i get bored quickly and leave things behind. maybe i shouldn't feel so bad when i'm the one tossed aside, but it's (sososo) easy to do it to other people. i...maybe i should be alone.
there's nothing i want to do. my life is empty and there's nothing to occupy myself. i have no escape (ihavenohope). i don't want to be here. i don't want to be alive. i don't want to be. (helpmefindmeaning)
o4 because being pushed up against the bus by a kid half my height is where i want to be
sometimes life just fucks you up and you're like oh who am i kidding can i just die already
i don't know if i'm sad i think i am just empty and tired sigh i think i turned out into some pretty horrible kid?? it's sorta silly cause everyone cuts class but i normally don't and not this much at least sigh pretty much lied to my math teacher about having an ap when i don't just cause i wanted to cut?? i think i'm just dumb why would i even say that sheesh but yea cutting math three times in a row?? i don't think i'll pass lmao not that i was doing that well anyway
and i've been getting bored of everything? and i mean everything sometimes i dread coming home because of the boredom i'll be faced with u g h sometimees i just come home, shower, change and go straight to bed ~____~ on monday i slept for thirteen hours straight right after volunteer sigh sometimes i just don't want to deal with things and want to forget everything you know?? i don't really think i have much to do in life and i want to give up because everything's useless!!
i'm rly nervous about my english speech too i don't know what to do with myself
i don't want to be awake anymore
i don't know if i'm sad i think i am just empty and tired sigh i think i turned out into some pretty horrible kid?? it's sorta silly cause everyone cuts class but i normally don't and not this much at least sigh pretty much lied to my math teacher about having an ap when i don't just cause i wanted to cut?? i think i'm just dumb why would i even say that sheesh but yea cutting math three times in a row?? i don't think i'll pass lmao not that i was doing that well anyway
and i've been getting bored of everything? and i mean everything sometimes i dread coming home because of the boredom i'll be faced with u g h sometimees i just come home, shower, change and go straight to bed ~____~ on monday i slept for thirteen hours straight right after volunteer sigh sometimes i just don't want to deal with things and want to forget everything you know?? i don't really think i have much to do in life and i want to give up because everything's useless!!
i'm rly nervous about my english speech too i don't know what to do with myself
i don't want to be awake anymore
o3
i don't have a tired icon how sad
ANYWAY yesterday i went to see tha avengers and even tho my sister pissed me off 65% of the way there the movie made up for it bcuz it was so flipping awesome i d e even with the terrible seats we had LMFAO second row motherfuckers ow my neck
it was just so awesome and loki is so freaking hadnsome i can't sdiuhdsjd steve/capt america was really cute too awww he reminds me of sky high from t&b LMAO the cast was rly great and everything was great it was funny oh man esp when the hulk beat up loki?? good stuff
it was rly gay too
steve and tony were at each other's throats like omg chill guys and omg thor and loki?? thor only cared abt loki tbh i thought either he or loki was gonna cry when he was trying to get him to come home ;_____; he was all like you're my brother pleae come back home and it was just FEELS and they got so close to each other too i just can't huhu
the whole battle part was amazing too aaahhhhh i hope my parents buy it and wow this wasn't really much of anything but it was just amazing i just can't get over it w o w i saw a couple of my friends too at the the theatre and we were like uh....heeeyyy..........lmao omg awk
then later i had to go to chinatown for a dinner event lmao a family friend was retiring from hin gongfu thing and it was the 55th anniversary to so yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa there were a lot of cymbals and drums and chinese dragon dancing and yeah i think my hearing is a little but fucked up RN also the food was not great at all y u p we left at like 7 and got home at 11:30 pm i was so tired?? and i had a headache DIUHDHYUSHCu
i think i eat too much hmmm will i be a fat asian forever
yes
also wow i have not done anything i spent all morning playing msn on uno with one of my friends LMFAO
and rediscovered my love for jack atlas and yohan anderson :)))) they are so sugoi t b h
ANYWAY yesterday i went to see tha avengers and even tho my sister pissed me off 65% of the way there the movie made up for it bcuz it was so flipping awesome i d e even with the terrible seats we had LMFAO second row motherfuckers ow my neck
it was just so awesome and loki is so freaking hadnsome i can't sdiuhdsjd steve/capt america was really cute too awww he reminds me of sky high from t&b LMAO the cast was rly great and everything was great it was funny oh man esp when the hulk beat up loki?? good stuff
it was rly gay too
steve and tony were at each other's throats like omg chill guys and omg thor and loki?? thor only cared abt loki tbh i thought either he or loki was gonna cry when he was trying to get him to come home ;_____; he was all like you're my brother pleae come back home and it was just FEELS and they got so close to each other too i just can't huhu
the whole battle part was amazing too aaahhhhh i hope my parents buy it and wow this wasn't really much of anything but it was just amazing i just can't get over it w o w i saw a couple of my friends too at the the theatre and we were like uh....heeeyyy..........lmao omg awk
then later i had to go to chinatown for a dinner event lmao a family friend was retiring from hin gongfu thing and it was the 55th anniversary to so yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa there were a lot of cymbals and drums and chinese dragon dancing and yeah i think my hearing is a little but fucked up RN also the food was not great at all y u p we left at like 7 and got home at 11:30 pm i was so tired?? and i had a headache DIUHDHYUSHCu
i think i eat too much hmmm will i be a fat asian forever
yes
also wow i have not done anything i spent all morning playing msn on uno with one of my friends LMFAO
and rediscovered my love for jack atlas and yohan anderson :)))) they are so sugoi t b h
(no subject)
i have the biggest headache rn u g h
BUT i had an eventful day so i will write all abt it once i get up fffffffffff
promised myself i will use dw more bcuz i feel out of touch w/ twitter and tumblr ~__________~
BUT i had an eventful day so i will write all abt it once i get up fffffffffff
promised myself i will use dw more bcuz i feel out of touch w/ twitter and tumblr ~__________~
(no subject)
gintama 380-396 1:20-2:20
good ten minutes crying and wailing about gintoki and shouyou sensei and joui3 SO B S
GINTOKI BABY COME HERE ;______________;
this arc is so amazing omfg def buying it omg my heart
i wish they would reunite sobs precious babies
bleach 478-488 2:30-2:50
CRIES TSUKISHIMA AND GINJOOOOOOOOO
KUROSAKI-KUN IS SO KAWAII
"i don't know who you are but get off the bed" omg are you trying to kill me i can't stop laughing
omg he's so badass fuck you ivan!! your bow is gay anyway
omg all these quincies look retarded guess kubo decided to stop drawing attractive villains
wow doesn't the leader look like gol d. rogers and zangetsu LMAO
SCREAMS IT'S NEL CAN SHE BE HOT AGAIN OMFG SCREAMS HALIBEL WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU MY QUEEN
can grimmjow come back sobs with his emo boyfriend ulquiorra ;______;
omg byakuya looks as flawless as ever i want to be your wife
ISHIDA ALSO GOT ATTRACTIVE
AAHHH URUHARAAAAAAAAAA OPPAAAA
OMG HALIBEL'S FLAWLESS FRACTION Q___________Q hearts
you better kick his ass kurosaki and omg soul society screams byakuya oppa hitsugaya shinji and zaraki better kick major ass ok IF ANYONE DIES I WILL CRY the vizard better get in on this and
o m f g ishida better do smthn badass omg such high hopes for this arc and kubo will not disappoint ;_____;
one piece 654-663 2:55-3:20
LMFAO MY PRECIOUS MONSTER TRIO + USOPP UPSET OVER THE THOUGHT OF HAVING TO CUT OFF THE FISH
cries at the mention of laboon and brook's tears omg ;___;
omg i love how dumb luffy is he's so cuTE
sdchbdsvcdf dies luffy is the perfect person while everyone freaks out he's just I'M GONNA BE TEH KING OF PIRATES i can't
CRYING "JOIN MY CREW!" luffy you lovable thing you
omg you moron you are not a centaur..........omg he named his "hind legs" leggy i hate you
SCREAMS IT'S LAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW law/luffy scret otp sshhhh
omg he's a shichibukai oppa jebal *____________*
OMG LUFFY IS HAPPY TO SEE LAW AHHHH BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
omg crying luffy is all orz when the guy's lower body got reunited w/ his head ide
wow fml i just slammed my door after bolting from the bathroom into my room oops
naruto 384-582 4:00-8:05
guys i am starting from sasuke's and itachi's fight............emotional turmoil here i come
WEEPS AT ALL THESE FLASHBACKS OF THEM BEING NICE BROS I CAN'T
well of course sasuke would never have the same eyes as itachi!!! unlike sasuke itachi has /gorgeous/ eyes
ah
ah
AH
HE
.........HE POKED HIM
tears in my eyes rn omg no no no itachi-kun please no
the smile on his face
omg i can't everything hurts make it stop ita-kun come back please sasuke he's sobs he needs his big bro ok
crying at 4am this is gr8
sasuke smiled back at jhim omg i can't even see my keyboard
no madara get out i don't want anymore heartbreak
i can hear my heart crumbling "he was unable to kill his brother" OF COURSE NOT ;___________; the look on sasuke's face omg help i can't stop hurting
MADARA SHUT UP I CAN'T HANDLE THIS god i am a mess rn and i have to keep quiet too
quietly reads the rest
.....sobs yahiko...b-baby....
i hate this stupid manga i hate it i hate it
GAARA BABY ♥
SCREAMS KUSHINA fuck omg the tears are back omg naruto you precious child i want you to be happy
i just want you to be happy
great the panel where itachi says he'll always protect sasuke just kill me now
i'll drown in my tears
god minato and kushina and just my heart hurts
i wish everyone could be happy
"find a woman like your mom" huh like sakura-chan :') god i am crying so much rn
omg fuck you gai making me laugh through my snot and tears ):
oh shit it's light out LMAO
g-gaara my sweet child )": baby don't cry i'm gonna start crying oh fuck my life
omg cries i love itachi and sasuke so much i can't ;____; brotherly bonds!!! draws them all over my book skdsuichd
khr 371-381 8:15-8:52
i can't with this it has gotten sso boring i can't
man do i even want to attempt fairy tail rn LMFAO
good ten minutes crying and wailing about gintoki and shouyou sensei and joui3 SO B S
GINTOKI BABY COME HERE ;______________;
this arc is so amazing omfg def buying it omg my heart
i wish they would reunite sobs precious babies
bleach 478-488 2:30-2:50
CRIES TSUKISHIMA AND GINJOOOOOOOOO
KUROSAKI-KUN IS SO KAWAII
"i don't know who you are but get off the bed" omg are you trying to kill me i can't stop laughing
omg he's so badass fuck you ivan!! your bow is gay anyway
omg all these quincies look retarded guess kubo decided to stop drawing attractive villains
wow doesn't the leader look like gol d. rogers and zangetsu LMAO
SCREAMS IT'S NEL CAN SHE BE HOT AGAIN OMFG SCREAMS HALIBEL WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU MY QUEEN
can grimmjow come back sobs with his emo boyfriend ulquiorra ;______;
omg byakuya looks as flawless as ever i want to be your wife
ISHIDA ALSO GOT ATTRACTIVE
AAHHH URUHARAAAAAAAAAA OPPAAAA
OMG HALIBEL'S FLAWLESS FRACTION Q___________Q hearts
you better kick his ass kurosaki and omg soul society screams byakuya oppa hitsugaya shinji and zaraki better kick major ass ok IF ANYONE DIES I WILL CRY the vizard better get in on this and
o m f g ishida better do smthn badass omg such high hopes for this arc and kubo will not disappoint ;_____;
one piece 654-663 2:55-3:20
LMFAO MY PRECIOUS MONSTER TRIO + USOPP UPSET OVER THE THOUGHT OF HAVING TO CUT OFF THE FISH
cries at the mention of laboon and brook's tears omg ;___;
omg i love how dumb luffy is he's so cuTE
sdchbdsvcdf dies luffy is the perfect person while everyone freaks out he's just I'M GONNA BE TEH KING OF PIRATES i can't
CRYING "JOIN MY CREW!" luffy you lovable thing you
omg you moron you are not a centaur..........omg he named his "hind legs" leggy i hate you
SCREAMS IT'S LAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW law/luffy scret otp sshhhh
omg he's a shichibukai oppa jebal *____________*
OMG LUFFY IS HAPPY TO SEE LAW AHHHH BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
omg crying luffy is all orz when the guy's lower body got reunited w/ his head ide
wow fml i just slammed my door after bolting from the bathroom into my room oops
naruto 384-582 4:00-8:05
guys i am starting from sasuke's and itachi's fight............emotional turmoil here i come
WEEPS AT ALL THESE FLASHBACKS OF THEM BEING NICE BROS I CAN'T
well of course sasuke would never have the same eyes as itachi!!! unlike sasuke itachi has /gorgeous/ eyes
ah
ah
AH
HE
.........HE POKED HIM
tears in my eyes rn omg no no no itachi-kun please no
the smile on his face
omg i can't everything hurts make it stop ita-kun come back please sasuke he's sobs he needs his big bro ok
crying at 4am this is gr8
sasuke smiled back at jhim omg i can't even see my keyboard
no madara get out i don't want anymore heartbreak
i can hear my heart crumbling "he was unable to kill his brother" OF COURSE NOT ;___________; the look on sasuke's face omg help i can't stop hurting
MADARA SHUT UP I CAN'T HANDLE THIS god i am a mess rn and i have to keep quiet too
quietly reads the rest
.....sobs yahiko...b-baby....
i hate this stupid manga i hate it i hate it
GAARA BABY ♥
SCREAMS KUSHINA fuck omg the tears are back omg naruto you precious child i want you to be happy
i just want you to be happy
great the panel where itachi says he'll always protect sasuke just kill me now
i'll drown in my tears
god minato and kushina and just my heart hurts
i wish everyone could be happy
"find a woman like your mom" huh like sakura-chan :') god i am crying so much rn
omg fuck you gai making me laugh through my snot and tears ):
oh shit it's light out LMAO
g-gaara my sweet child )": baby don't cry i'm gonna start crying oh fuck my life
omg cries i love itachi and sasuke so much i can't ;____; brotherly bonds!!! draws them all over my book skdsuichd
khr 371-381 8:15-8:52
i can't with this it has gotten sso boring i can't
man do i even want to attempt fairy tail rn LMFAO
Entry tags:
(,, ･∀･)ﾉ゛ o1
yo what up
lmao idk but wow i finally decided to use my dw! congrats self (ngl i only say congrats bcuz i forget how to spell the entire thing oops congratulations right idk)
anyway hi today i went to see two movies! but first of all my sister is a moron who decided not to wake up on time, forgot to tell my mom we were going out and forgot where the place was i d e but that aside we watched 21 jump street and the hunger games (i didn't even read the book lmao) but it was fun ig?? i mean my eyes ended up hurting like a bitch after but it was nice ok i lied it wasn't nice but i saw two movies only for $6 o fuck it!!! i'm a badass and snuck into another movie fufufu
21 jump street was funny tho l m a o typical movie in a high school setting tbh? drug ring, sex jokes etc but omg the running gag w/ explosions is so funny to me tho ide!! like the bad guys keep crashing into shit and you'd think the motorcycle+w/e they crashed into would eplode but they don't and when a guy crashes into a truck full of chickens that explodes lmfao ide it was kinda dumb but funny ^________^ i liked it tbh but then my sister wanted to see the hunger games and i was like ok....................
it was rly boring to me?? like i heard from other people it was kinda terrible and i'd have to agree ~____~ it was so dragged out in the beginning and middle i mean 3/4 of the movie was her running through the woods.....and omg the camera was so shaky and kept moving i just got rly dizzy watching it dbhvdvdx plus i thought katniss was a huge bitch to peeta!! peeta is kawaii tho huhuhuhuhu never read the book oh well idc!
ok let me talk about the movie trailers they put in the the beginning omg i want to see the avengers so bad??? it looks rly good ahhhh and safe too!! idk i always thought i liked comedy but naw i like action :))))) kekeke but omfg there was this one trailer for a scary movie and.....i am v scared of it ): it's typical tho like group of friends decide to go somewhere on vacation seemingly ok only not cause they decide to go to cher...something a place in russia i think that got bombed and therefore abandoned so they do that but when night comes....they can't leave and one of the girls looks through her pics and sees something by one of the windows and i was already hiding behind my hands dhjudfijdfj the rest of it was them running in the dark through the abandoned buildings and people being dragged off and screaming and omg i am scared to leave my room after everyone goes to bed now sobs i am so easily scared weeps
gosh yea that was my day and now i am tired ): also bleach poems everywhere on this journal haha cackles kubo-san is so deep ): and i have accomplished nothing all break!! and did no hw maybe friday is the day to do all that...............................
anyway hi today i went to see two movies! but first of all my sister is a moron who decided not to wake up on time, forgot to tell my mom we were going out and forgot where the place was i d e but that aside we watched 21 jump street and the hunger games (i didn't even read the book lmao) but it was fun ig?? i mean my eyes ended up hurting like a bitch after but it was nice ok i lied it wasn't nice but i saw two movies only for $6 o fuck it!!! i'm a badass and snuck into another movie fufufu
21 jump street was funny tho l m a o typical movie in a high school setting tbh? drug ring, sex jokes etc but omg the running gag w/ explosions is so funny to me tho ide!! like the bad guys keep crashing into shit and you'd think the motorcycle+w/e they crashed into would eplode but they don't and when a guy crashes into a truck full of chickens that explodes lmfao ide it was kinda dumb but funny ^________^ i liked it tbh but then my sister wanted to see the hunger games and i was like ok....................
it was rly boring to me?? like i heard from other people it was kinda terrible and i'd have to agree ~____~ it was so dragged out in the beginning and middle i mean 3/4 of the movie was her running through the woods.....and omg the camera was so shaky and kept moving i just got rly dizzy watching it dbhvdvdx plus i thought katniss was a huge bitch to peeta!! peeta is kawaii tho huhuhuhuhu never read the book oh well idc!
ok let me talk about the movie trailers they put in the the beginning omg i want to see the avengers so bad??? it looks rly good ahhhh and safe too!! idk i always thought i liked comedy but naw i like action :))))) kekeke but omfg there was this one trailer for a scary movie and.....i am v scared of it ): it's typical tho like group of friends decide to go somewhere on vacation seemingly ok only not cause they decide to go to cher...something a place in russia i think that got bombed and therefore abandoned so they do that but when night comes....they can't leave and one of the girls looks through her pics and sees something by one of the windows and i was already hiding behind my hands dhjudfijdfj the rest of it was them running in the dark through the abandoned buildings and people being dragged off and screaming and omg i am scared to leave my room after everyone goes to bed now sobs i am so easily scared weeps
gosh yea that was my day and now i am tired ): also bleach poems everywhere on this journal haha cackles kubo-san is so deep ): and i have accomplished nothing all break!! and did no hw maybe friday is the day to do all that...............................